she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize