Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
