Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
