yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
