I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Randomize
