Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Randomize
