i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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