...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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