when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
