I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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