DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
