Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
