my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
