I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Come on in and take your pants off
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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