what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I pour the whiskey from now on
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
