Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
