i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize