you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
