Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
