Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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