You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
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