We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
