you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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