so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I smell like Dick and happiness
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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