WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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