On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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