just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
it was like having sex with a tree stump
oh god was she eating orange peels again
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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