his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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