Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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