Four minutes until I can fart!
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
