i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
