Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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