This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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