Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
