you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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