He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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