Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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