I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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