he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
