I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize