yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
they're like a gay fantastic four
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
