I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
