I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
