I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Drunk walkin through police station. America
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
