Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
