I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize