Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
