I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
