Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
