In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
