Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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