How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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