Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
