I don't remember. Are we still dating?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
