Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
