She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize