dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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