Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
