i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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