So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
