I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
