Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
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