do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
