Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
