i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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