She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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