READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
