She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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